On bias and its effect on interpretation

It’s election season, which means that presidential debates are happening and everyone is getting all fired up. Also, Rachel Held Evans just released a new book, A Year of Biblical Womanhood, which is making all sorts of waves in segments of American Christianity.

It is utterly fascinating to see what people say about the *exact same* debate and the *exact same* book. Many times during the presidential debates, I saw statuses/Tweets of conservative Republicans and ardent Democrats juxtaposed on my news/Twitter feed. These updates were talking about the same part of the debate…and coming to completely opposite conclusions, every. single. time.

Certain conservative evangelical complementarian Christians have a huge problem with Rachel Held Evans’ book – they feel that her salvation is in doubt and that her book is mocking Christianity. Meanwhile, other less-conservative possibly-egalitarian still-evangelical Christians love the book and appreciate what it is trying to say.

In both of these situations, the bias is crystal clear. The conservative Christians I mentioned earlier cannot see the good in Rachel Held Evans’ book, because their paradigm makes them so biased that it is *impossible* for them to see it. In order to see the good, they would have to accept the possibility that she had something good to say – but their paradigm tells them that isn’t possible. For the Republicans and Democrats, it can be the same thing. The conservative Republican paradigm does not allow for good Democratic policies, or for Obama to want good for the US. For the more extreme Democrats, the idea that the Republican policies could be good for the country is an impossible thought.

We are all biased, of course – it’s impossible to avoid. But sometimes, bias takes on the character of absolute truth. When we use our “absolute truth” as an excuse to treat people with disdain and even hate instead of kindness and compassion, we create a horrible mess. But in too many cases, that’s exactly what happens. I think it’s time to stop the crazy and start thinking the best of others again, when at all possible.

My thoughts on gay marriage

[Post on politics and religion ahead - you have been warned.]

I’ve been pondering this post for a while, but have only now decided to write and post it. The timing seemed appropriate, what with North Carolina. Not like my view matters much in the great scheme of things, but you are reading my blog, aren’t you? ;)

I am a Christian. I might even call myself an evangelical Christian, though it’s hard to say – those terms tend to mean little, and I know I disagree with evangelical Christianity on some things. Being a conservative Christian type, I found myself needing to come to terms with the Bible and homosexuality, and what, if anything, I should be trying to do about it as a Christian in the US.

Concerning the Bible and homosexuality, so far in my life I’ve been most convinced by what the GCN folks would call the Side B argument – that homosexual activity is a sin, and Christians who are gay should live celibate lives. I know that others argue differently, and I’ve read those arguments too, but don’t find them as convincing. So, I believe that my religion says you are sinning if you engage in homosexual activity. I don’t think you are automatically condemned to hell, anymore than the straight person having sex outside of marriage is condemned to hell. You’re just messing up. I mess up all the time – I just don’t happen to mess up in that particular area. It’s not a temptation for me. If you aren’t a Christian, then what I think is a sin doesn’t really apply to you anyway. I’m not going to bash you over the head with my beliefs. I probably won’t even mention it unless it comes up.

So, what should I as a Christian in the US do about gay marriage?

NOTHING.

As a Christian in the US, a Christian who believes that homosexual activity is a sin, I think that gay marriage should be legal.

Why? Because all the social arguments against homosexual activity fall apart upon scrutiny, others were once valid but have become invalid as the definition of marriage has changed, and the other arguments are religious. Religious arguments should not be valid in creating legislation in the United States, because the United States is not a theocracy. Feel free to practice your religion all you like, but you cannot turn your religion into law unless you have other, quality, non-religious reasons for making that law. Those who are against gay marriage have yet to find such reasons. Honestly, I don’t think they will. Our culture sees marriage as being all about love and building a life together. According to that definition, there’s no good reason not to let two people of the same sex engage in civil marriage. The state will continue regulating it because that’s what they do.

Personally, I think civil marriages/unions and religious marriages/unions should be completely separated. If you want to be married and have it recognized by the state, then do that. If you want to be married and have it recognized by your religious group, then do that too. If you belong to a religious group that doesn’t recognize the union you want to enter into as a valid marriage, then you can try and change it within the group if that’s the type of group it is, or deal with it and/or leave if it isn’t. Some Christian churches are happy to recognize gay marriages as valid. Others won’t. Both should be left alone by the state.

So, there’s my 2 cents…Feel free to comment and disagree, with civility and assuming good motives on the part of others. I reserve the right to delete comments if absolutely necessary.

A plea for decency

Recently, a retweeted tweet crossed my Twitter feed. It contained some witty slogan against Santorum. In some of the replies to that tweet, people said they thought Santorum’s head should be separated from his body. Really?! Then there’s this recent deal with Rush Limbaugh talking about Sandra Fluke. Really?! Sadly, there are so many more examples of this type of thing, on ALL sides of politics and religion.

Just because someone thinks or believes differently than you does not make them less human. People can be intelligent, thoughtful, caring, passionate, good people and come to different conclusions about hot-button political issues, religion…everything. The fact that someone disagrees with you does not legitimate calling them names, wishing evil on their children, or worse. When you do that, you demean yourself and them. Also, the fact that someone disagrees with you does not automatically make them a stupid, thoughtless person.

So, can we agree on one thing? Can we agree to engage others on the issues calmly, with respect, as we wish to be treated? Can we agree to give those we disagree with the same goodwill that we give to those who agree with us? Can we wish them well and seek to understand? We’ll probably still end up disagreeing – but when we see the other person as human, we can actually have a conversation instead of talking past each other.

I’d rather have a conversation. What about you?

(not) becoming Catholic

I made this decision around Christmas, but haven’t blogged about it yet – I am now because I blogged about it in the past.

I’m not becoming Catholic at this time, for several reasons. First, I’m not convinced that they’re right about the big things – and I feel like I can’t become Catholic unless I’m sure. It seems like a really big step that would be hard, if not impossible, for me to undo. I know for sure that there are some smaller things (the idea that Mary gave birth with her hymen intact…or that his birth was “like light passing through glass”) that really bother me and that I completely disagree with.

Second, and this is the biggest factor, my husband started showing interest in actively participating in a church again. He doesn’t like the Catholic Church, so he can’t join me there – but I can join him where he is. We have started attending a small Protestant church and I am really loving it.

So, there’s that. I may or may not decide to do a post about the whole birth control/Catholics issue. I will probably end up doing a post at some point about how I can be pro-woman and understand where the Catholics are coming from. We’ll see. It’s discouraging when people start implying that one has to support the things they support in order to be pro-woman. But that’s just how it is, it seems – with everything, not just this issue. Woo paradigms.

Thanks for reading.

Bible in 90 days – Finished!

Back in July, I started reading the Bible in 90 Days. I finished in 84 days. During those days, I also read the extra parts of Daniel and Esther, Baruch, and I took about four days and read Sirach as well. I actually got behind fairly quickly, so I was very glad I was able to catch up and even finish early.

I’m very glad I participated this challenge. It means that I finally managed what I tried to do at least 4 times as a child – read the Protestant Bible cover to cover! It’s a very different experience from the skipping around which made it possible for me to read the Bible through the first two times. Naturally, some parts of the B90Days challenge are harder than others. I found Psalms hard to read through at such a fast pace – I wanted to stop and linger over it. The New Testament epistles are easy to read quickly. Doing so provides the background to properly understand the sections and verses we study closely at other times.

I am surprised how reading that much of the Bible became a habit for me. Now my Bible reading is something I nearly always get to, without thinking about it. I find it helpful to try and read my Bible as soon as I can during the day. For me, that’s during/after breakfast.

If you want to read the Bible, I think reading it at a quicker pace than the stereotypical year can be a wonderful thing. Doing it in 90 days is hard, but oh so rewarding. I hope to do it again someday.

Now I’m not really sure what to read in the Bible next! I’m starting the Bible over again with a friend, and we will be reading through the narrative books. For myself, I’m starting to skip around the Bible again, book by book. I’m not sure if I’ll keep doing that or if I’ll go with a more structured approach. I also purchased a small copy of the Message today for $7 and will probably work that into my devotional reading somehow.

I’ve also switched main Bible translations. The NABRE notes were distracting me from the Bible in a negative way, so now, thanks to the aforementioned friend, I have an NRSV! I’m especially pleased with the edition I have; it is single column in the prose books and double column in the poetry books. I’m looking forward to making this Bible my own.

in spite of myself

I wish faith was easy.

I wish it was true that all I need to do is say a sinner’s prayer and I’m saved forever, wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am. I wish I could just read my (66-book) Bible and go to church and listen to the preacher and take sermon notes and follow Christ and be comfortable while still growing in faith, because even comfortable faith requires some growth. I wish I could decide what I believed based on how I felt it measured up to my interpretation of the Bible, and toss out the hard things that I don’t understand.

Now, about that 66-book Protestant Bible…

And my pretty little simple faith comes tumbling down.

I don’t really want to be Catholic. It’s hard. I don’t get the birth control thing (and following that is going to be so, so hard). I get the Mary thing to a point, after which I start whispering “Seriously?!?!?” under my breath. Same thing happens with praying to saints. I’m sure there are other, smaller things..things that just don’t make much sense to me. But I can’t pick and choose, because if the Catholic Church is right, then they’re right and what she says goes. So I cross my fingers and hope that somehow I can get out of this.

Then I look at history, and I realize there is no way I can reconcile any other denomination of Christianity with it and still be intellectually consistent. I also realize there is no way I can choose to be intellectually inconsistent and still live with myself.

So, I’m becoming Catholic. Still. In spite of myself.

Real life

My daughter just went to sleep and it’s almost midnight. Her sleep schedule (or rather her normal routine) was all out of whack today, probably because she’s teething or she didn’t take a morning nap or we’re in the process of moving or life is just too exciting or any combination of the above plus somethig I haven’t thought of yet. She’s so antsy and when she’s awake (which, if you haven’t figured out yet, is most of the time) it is impossible for me to get anything done. So I spend a lot of time watching tv shows on Netflix. My primary emotion towards my daughter today has been frustration and I feel guilty about that. I don’t know how to get un-frustrated.

We are moving. We will be so much closer to my family and it will be so much easier for me to get out and be around people and get help with the baby. This will help. Also I am going to go see a counselor. Really. The whole moving thing happened and derailed my plans.

My faith is all confused. Well not quite. I’m becoming Catholic. I’m convinced. But life is hard, with hard questions and answers which so often seem, or are, inadequate. So living this faith is anything but easy. I’m still stumbling along. On a related note, I am about five days behind in Bible in 90 Days. But that’s okay because I will still read the Bible much faster than I ever have before.

This is the part of the blog post where I’m supposed to put a spin on all this and make it into an awesome lesson or inspiration or something. But honestly, I don’t have one. I can tell you that my daughter is so cute, and I love her in a way I never knew existed. I love my husband and he is so good to us. My life is still beautiful. Even though I struggle. But at the end of the day, I still feel like I fail at life. I’m having a hard time adjusting. And…that’s my life right now.

Still going strong with B90Days

It’s been a week since I started trying to read the Bible in 90 Days. Somehow I’ve managed to keep on track with the reading, despite a weekend road trip. I managed that by reading a bit ahead, reading snatches in the evenings, and reading in the car! During this first week, we read Genesis and Exodus.

My new morning routine: Get up. Change baby’s diaper. Put baby on the floor with toys. Get breakfast. Eat breakfast while reading Bible. Keep reading Bible until baby gets fussy (usually about 30 minutes, maybe less). Go take care of baby. When baby calms down, return to Bible reading until baby gets fussy again. Repeat until Bible reading is done.

It’s actually working pretty well, and the feeling of accomplishment helps give me the boost I need to actually get other stuff done (besides the fun stuff, like reading, journaling, etc)!

I’ve reading Genesis and Exodus about 4 or 5 times before this, but I’m still noticing new things. For instance, I somehow missed the part where a baby goat could be sacrificed instead of a lamb in some cases. I’m also wondering how in the world Jacob would have missed the fact that the woman in his bed wasn’t Rachel!!!

I’m also reading the New American Bible with the Revised Old Testament (aka the NAB-Revised Edition, or NABRE). It’s a translation I’ve never read before, and I’m finding it rather interesting. For some reason, the translators don’t put quotation marks around the Lord’s speeches, unless there is a physical theophany. It strikes me as quite odd. I’m actually enjoying the notes at the bottom, when I glance at them. The NAB notes are really more like a study Bible’s notes, but they come standard with every NAB. Some of them I vehemently disagree with, but others provide very helpful context!

So, that’s this week. Hopefully I will be able to keep going with this and not let other things get in the way!

Reading the Bible…in 90 Days

When I was a child, I wanted to read the Bible. I started at the beginning…

probably 4, 5, more times…

and never got past Numbers.

—

Since then, I’ve read the (Protestant) Bible through in its entirety twice, and the New Testament twice more. But I’ve never read it through, cover to cover.

Well, I’m going to try that this time around – and I’m going to try and do it in 90 days.

Yep, it’s a bit crazy, but I think I can do it. And I think it’ll be good for me.

I’m not doing it alone – I’m joining over a thousand other people at Mom’s Toolbox. Together, we can do this. I am super excited.

—

I’m working on reading the deuterocanonical books, too. I’ll read the extra parts of Daniel and Esther when I get to those books in the 90 Days plan. I’ve read all the others except for Baruch and Sirach – I’ll read those two after I finish the 90 Days.

Here goes!

 

On anti-Catholicism

I ran into my first truly anti-Catholic comments today. Of course, one can always find anti-Catholic comments on the web. These were ones I stumbled upon in one of the blogs I regularly read, however. It was a new experience for me. I noticed some trends in the comments, and I’d like to talk about these trends briefly.

1) Many of the commenters seemed to be misinformed about Catholic theology. They referred to things like “worshipping Mary” and “salvation by works.” This is a trend that I also see among Protestants in general, and even among Catholics. People think they know what the Church teaches, but in reality they’re repeating almost-truths. For some reason, Catholicism seems to be more easily misconstrued than other parts of Christianity. I’m not sure why.

2) The commenters were convinced that they were right, and that they were right to be dismayed by Catholicism. I respect this, actually. I can choose to see their comments as a manifestation of sincere desires to bring Catholics to the truth and a sincere wish to keep the truth from being corrupted, or I can see their comments as malicious attacks on my faith. Since this is online discourse, how I choose to read their words is extremely important. That being said, I have to admit that I do not always choose to assume the best of them, for which I apologize.

3) Based on the research I have done, it seems to me that Catholicism is so much more grace-filled than Reformed Protestantism. (Please note I am not talking about any individual believers!) Catholicism bursts with God’s grace – in the description of God in the Catechism, in the way that the Church says who is in heaven but not who is in hell, in the way that forgiveness is always possible. Reformed Protestantism, on the other hand, is very black and white. In their theology, you can know who is going to hell, but not who is going to heaven. Lately, I find myself praising God for his wonderful grace – for the fact that those with homosexual attractions are never considered abominations, though acting on those attractions is a sin; for the forgiveness and healing he offers; for the way he invites us to him with open arms.

So, this is what I have learned through this encounter. I hope I can respond well and gracefully to those who disagree. It is a hard thing to deal with.

Trying to reach the same Lord

[This post was written for the Rally to Restore Unity, hosted by Rachel Held Evans.]

We all have our own stories of how we came to faith. They are as different as our fingerprints. They are a small part of our bigger stories, of life, love, and hurt.

My story of faith has led me to one place. My husband’s currently leads to a very different place. He doesn’t understand my decision…but he understands a little bit of the journey. He understands a little bit of the search for Truth, the desire to put into practice what I find to be true. He understands who I am, and in knowing that he understands why I want to do this, why I must do this.

So he gives me freedom, even though he disagrees. I take it, and pray that he can understand this place enough to go beyond the stereotypes.

—

I believe there is absolute Truth. I don’t believe that I know it. But I have to search for it. My conscience and heart won’t settle for any less.

I may believe that someone else is wrong. But that doesn’t mean I can judge them, shooting arrows at the heart. I have my own story, my own struggle, my own dark nights that no one else can ever know but my Lord. How can I do any less than respect their stories and struggles? How will it help if I spout the same reasons that they have already wrestled with and put to rest?

We all say the same creed, together in harmony, expressing the same sentiments, though the words may twist into different orders. We all try to reach the same Lord, through tears and laughter and the smokescreens of this world, theology, and our own inescapable perspectives. We are all muddling our way through.

Let’s love each other through it.

Fear

I worry, I weigh three times my body

I worry, I throw my fear around…

I wasn’t always afraid.

I used to enjoy driving around just for the heck of it, late at night, with the windows down and the radio blaring. I once lay down in the middle of a suburban street and tried to see the stars, and enjoyed the thrill.

Now, fear is an almost constant companion.

There’s something about hurling down a concrete road in a metal box that is rather worrisome. Add in other metal boxes doing the same thing, and it gets worse. Add in drivers who stop suddenly or change lanes without looking or without putting on their turn signal and it gets scary. Add in curvy roads and overpasses, and it becomes utterly terrifying.

—

Now I have a beautiful daughter, who steals my heart every day.

I am constantly afraid of something happening to her, and I cannot bear to think about it actually happening.

So I check her breathing every fifteen minutes, and sleep with her in the bed next to me because I feel like, if she were to stop breathing in her sleep, I might somehow notice and wake up in time to save her.

…by the time I recognize this moment

this moment will be gone…

—

In the past, pastors have told me that fear is a sin. Fear means I am not trusting God.

I don’t know if I believe them or not. I only know that I try to give my family to God, only to snatch them back the moment we get on the highway.

I try to rationalize it away – there’s no point in worrying because there’s nothing I can do about it. My husband has this attitude mastered.

It doesn’t work for me.

So I apologize to God, over and over, for being afraid. I watch my little girl sleep in her carseat and try not to think about what could happen. I try to concentrate on how we are safe, this moment. I live with the rushes of adrenaline. And I am grateful to my husband when he takes us on the side streets.

—

…and I will wait to find

if this will last forever

and I will pay no mind

when it won’t and it won’t

because it can’t…

The world is a terrifying place. Bad things happen all the time.

Children die.

Children die in childbirth. Mothers die in childbirth. Children die in their sleep at four months old, and no one knows why.

Having children is not a matter of whether I can afford it, or whether I want them. It’s a matter of whether I will be able to overcome the fear enough to risk it.

I don’t know how grownups do it.

But I’m going to have to learn how. I have no choice. Somehow, with God’s help, I will live in this troubled world and face each day with something more than fear.

…and I will waste no time

worried ’bout no rainy weather

and I will waste no time

remaining in our lives together

(lyrics from “Clarity” by John Mayer)